It's perfectly normal, nothing wrong with me but we're gonna need a clean up on aisle three
Dear LTT-ers, euphemism lovers and 16 yr old boys,
Can we all agree to call a moratorium on the word “jizz?” Sure, it was funny when Andy Samberg and Lonely Island sang the song “Jizz in my Pants” and even funnier when some enterprising soul put the song to the biology class scene In Twilight, cause who didn’t think Edward had had a little downstairs bonanza when they first saw it? But we’ve officially reached the cut off point. I was alerted yesterday by the “Jizz Tracker 7000” (official name for a fake tracker) that the word Jizz has officially become over used and not to mention just plain gross.
Since the song came out last winter I think I’ve heard the term used in every way possible, as a noun “What the jizz?” as a verb: “I just jizzed all over the place!” as an adjective: “He is so jizzingly hot!” and ya know what? We can’t deal anymore. We’re all smart gals (and dudes) around here I know you have other vocab words. I’d even wholeheartedly agree to the usage of words like “chagrin,” “irrevecable,” and “glower” instead!
So in the interest of our sanity and gag reflex (that’s what she said) can we stop using the term altogether and instead think of a term that equates extreme excitement without the bodily fluids?
I totes just sqee-ed in my pants,
Themoonisdown
And one last time for ol time’s sake! Take it away Lonely Island…
So are we the only ones SO over this word? Are there any more we can add to the list?
What shakin’ with Rob today?
Invent a new excited word in the forum!
We TWEET with excitement!
Filed under: Fanmade Videos, LTT, Twilight, Twilight Fans, Video | Tagged: Andy Samberg, Andy Samburg, comedy, disgusting, excited, funny, gag reflex, gross, jizz, jizz in my pants, lonely island, moratorium, Music, New Moon, Rob, Robert Pattinson, Twilight, Video, vocabulary, words |
Letters to Twilight 
Nope! I hate this word too.
It’s like the word “douche” or the “ya mum” jokes.
Um, hi, “ya mum” jokes were in when I was in grade 8 . . . 6 years ago! Oy.
I’m sure we could come up with a MUCH better (read: less nasty) word for being “excited”.
xox
You guys just made my Friday. LOVE it. Haven’t seen that one before.
Hey – random thought – if Renesmee and Jacob had a baby and it was a boy and they decided to follow the stupid precedent set by the her parents with regard to naming after the grandparents….
Billy + Edward = Bedward. Renesmee’s baby would be Bedward Black
It’s normal that I a) thought of this and b) told you. Right???
LMAO! I’d love to hear what train of thought led to this.
As long as it’s not Edwilly.
Cos that would just be weird, right?
I thought of Edwilly instead too. I actually kinda like it.
M
Why not just – Elly? Nice, simple, and very gender-conscious name for a boy twenty years from now!
Bedward Black…..he has a mullet and works as a Chippendale dancer…..gold sequin banana hammock and all! FTW!
uhhhhhh wow i love random
trying not to be all anal and shizz, but sqee-ed looks wrong on paper, how about ‘squee-ed’? kthxbai
my typying is bad.
HAHAHA see!
That video is brilliant. It may have single handedly change the 2nd hand embarrassment feeling I get for The Cougar when I watch that biology scene into total endearment!
I don’t think I’ve ever used the “J-word”, typed or spoken, so I’ll grab my pitchfork and join the angry mob since it doesn’t require any effort from me to stop using it. Just don’t take “hoor” or “Sparklepeen” away from me, and we’re all good.
We’re sharing a brain today. When I saw the ban of a word on here today, I immediately thought of words I had to save. It would be a travesty if we couldn’t say ‘sparklepeen’ on here. That’s one word I’ve never uttered in RL and this is where I come to let out my ‘sparklepeen’ load…eww.
Sparklepeen must prevail!
ohhh sparklepeen… it’s rising but maybe you can save it
Yeah, I hate ‘jizz’, too (that’s what she said). I don’t actually use this word, but I have seen it used entirely too much. I agree to a ceasefire on ‘jizz’…but please don’t take ‘douche’ and ‘douchebag’ away from me. Otherwise, how would I describe guys like Gayfron and Kanye?
try boors—<3
hahahah
I personally enjoy “fu*kwad”
I’ve never been big on jizz….wait that’s wrong. Using the word jizz I mean. I think it sounds weird.
I’m fond of saying “I think I just came a little” to express excitement.
@Jayde17: Douche is one of my fave words ever! I’ve taken to adding nozzle at the end, so people become douche nozzles. And I say your mom to my mother.
oink
Douche is the best word ever!
It was made perfect by the one and only (maybe gay) Andy Bernard.
Haha.
“Michael? Am I gay…?”
That (maybe gay) just made my day, btw…
I say “I think I just came” all the time. Spoken and written. I also use the term db or douche all the time as well. Those will not leave my vocab.
M
Confession.
I kinda like “jizztastic.
…and “jizztyping” to describe typos.
Maybe I’m just that dork that continues to use played out sayings…..
Like people who will agree with you, and then scream “NOT”.
At least I’m not THAT girl.
HAHAHA i love NOT! haha in a 1992 kind of way!
“Since the song came out last winter I think I’ve heard the term used in every way possible, as a noun “What the jizz?” as a verb: “I just jizzed all over the place!” as an adjective: “He is so jizzingly hot!””
People really say that? Maybe it’s a California thing? Or an Under 30 Thing? I have so never heard jizz used in such a manner.
I’m sorry, Ladies, and please don’t kick me off the island, but I hate hate hate ‘totes’ instead of ‘totally’. It makes the angels cry. True story.
The first time I heard totes I was like WTF? Why are they talking about bags? I can’t stand it either!
Aren’t those socks with rubber grips on the bottom?
I think totes is funny. In the sarcastic way that “totally” is also funny.
i’m gonna totes jizz on you right now for saying that
that was so gross, but also so awesome at the same time
I’m totally going to have to take a walk to ‘get the mail’ so I don’t burst out laughing at my desk.
“It makes the angels cry. True story.”
Okay, that made me cry from laughing so hard. I’m under 30 and I don’t use jizz. I mean I know the word…and I used to live in Florida 2.5 months ago before moving out west, so I’ve got the east coast/west coast sayings under my belt ( 😉 ) But…jizz is pretty awful. I also hate “That’s what she said.” I think it’s because my sexually harassing ex-boss used it all the time. That and it’s stupid.
HAHAHA totes is SO a word i totes use all the time! hahahah i have the best story about it too sometime ill share
No problem for the non-native English speakers. All you have to do is give us some other words we can Urban-dic and we can happily fulfill your request.
Dear LTT headquarters,
I think it’s time to protect your intellectual property and copyright certain phrases that were invented here(that’s normal, to bang Rob behind the dumpster, that’s what she said…).
What about other “words”, that are used in RobUniverse, like HHH, or drunkenRob, Robward, Robsten…..
will we ever find out who was first to print them??? It’s not of a life importance, I know, but I would like to know.
Love, Me
HHH came from the comments on LTR
I thought of “Robsten” awhile back when I had to answer the trivia question “what celeb couple makes you want to eat a dead skunk rather than see together?”
just kidding. sorta
You’re not kidding. A dead skunk would’ve already released its gasses, right?
So I opened my Entertainment Weekly today and while flipping through it saw Robsten being used in the Hit List (one of their weekly colums)….exact words:
Backstage at the VMAs, Robsten giggle at Gaga’s outfit…I don’t think you get to giggle at anything, no matter how made-of-coconut-shavings it is, if you are the entity known as “Robsten”
…..Not sure how I feel about EW using the term “Robsten”…..
we need too. ccause half of those are ours!
dumpster was started here, dont give a crapsten was brought up in comments/tweets, HHH, thats normal is DEFS ours cause i was the one who said it during the dvd release madness last march and im sure many others.
but im glad we can share with the robuniverse our nonsense
Never was a big fan of jizz. Consider it abolished!
And never was a big fan of totes either… but whatever, i’m a herd animal, so I’ll most likely start using it soon anyway.
Great trailer.. I love it. great pic. Clean up is needed. http://bobbygee.wordpress.com/
OMG…..Clean up is needed!!!! YES!!!!!! bobbygee for prez!
hahahaha Cullen smile #2 of my day!
clean up on aisle three, thanks bobby!
I first heard the word “jizz” as a teen in the late 80’s and had to ask my boyfriend what the hell it meant. (they called a friend “jizz-head” because he wore way too much hair gel) & Hadn’t heard it much at all until this past year and can’t stand the fact that my 10 yr old knows what it means!
I too love to use the word “douche,” but I think it is way to overused. Especially on primetime sitcoms. Not offended by it, just think there is not enough thought into proper usage of the word and it’s starting to sound hacky. Big word for a cheap laugh.
It’s going to get ruined. Like when Ben used to always say “dick” on “Felicity.” It was like EVERY episode. It loses punch after hearing it all the time.
Allowable words, like “jizz”, “douche”, and “dick” need to be savored. (that’s what she said) . Not thrown in, like croutons on a salad. They should be the steak that is the main course. (or at least the Ranch dressing)<—– squee!
That’s how I feel about the word “fuck” in Wide Awake. It use to be my go-to cuss word…now not so much.
I miss fuck.
😦 Sad clown
“I miss fuck”
thats what she said.
Although, WA did add “fuck my life” to my vocabulary. Loving the innovative use there. And plus, it works as FML too!
I stole totes off of LTT/LTR as well and can happily say I’ve never used the j-word either, so I’m fine with banning it.
@ Donna – Yes! U remember Felicity. Given that Scott Speedman was my pre-Rob sex hair boy, it was hard for me to admit that I was sick of him saying dick all the time. But I was. Wonder if we’ll ever get tired of hearing Rob ramble incoherently?
Nah. I don’t think so either.
That will NEVER happen.
PS. I was on Team Noel
YAY for Noel! I made him a fanpage when I was first learning HTML. And what on earth happened to Scott Foley? I could IMDB him, but that’s effort and I’m in the middle of watching Twilight w/ the commentary on for the first time (omg the Coug is SO friggin annoying). I was inspired by the comments to give it a whirl. So far, not so good. 😦
By the way, it has to be said somewhere: this guy I know does the crooked smile. I’d never seen this before and now I finally can place it on Edward. I feel slightly completed. That’s normal(?)
Normal!
Scott Foley used to be in my Top 5!
Commentary: Ignore the Coug comments.
Only listen to the cute British Boy!
OMG you mentioned BEN from felicity in a comment. YOU WIN at life. thanks. i am a HUGE felicity fan. and the way he said dick… hmmmm
Thank you!
I read a few fanfics and they are about this word.
I was like “Seriously, who really says this shit?”
I have never heard that word spoken, just typed.
Jizz is like the word gig to me. Over used and a word that I can’t stand…
Consider it dead to me.
I prefer Doucher to Douche. But it is one of my faves.
Anyone consider trading Spunk for Jizz? I mean, if we are using Robcabulary words, it makes sense.
Yeah, I use Doucher sometimes. Or Deutsch Bag. Or Guy (as in Guy Ledouche).
ooooooo….i like Guy Ledouche! I am totally adding that to my insult list!
I’m ready to toss aside “jizz” like the used condom it fills. Done.
yuck and awesome at the same time
So glad for an easy, comfortable and less hostile discussion…yesterday was way too taxing….lol…especially since I can honestly say that I don’t understand 99% of the lingo used like “totes” (which I too hate) now I finally figured out what it means….so I just skim over all them! Probably why most of my comments don’t make sense or take hours to write….not this morning…YEAH…Happy FRIDAY! 🙂
someone explain “jizz” to Cyndi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(this feels like when I had to explain to my sister that the douche-kit my grandmother gave her before she went on her honeymoon was NOT something anyone born after 1943 used)
Shut up! Your grandma really didn’t do that. That’s HILARIOUS!
Cyndi, back in our day people said ‘spooge’ instead of ‘jizz’. Hope that helps!
Ahhh NOPE…never heard “spooge” WTH…??? I am surfing the net for the program “Twi Translator” to download while also looking for a dictionary of all words “Good Catholic Girls don’t know” LMAO
Can you tell I had very strict parents!!??? I feel like I have been dodging lightning bolts for weeks now…
urbandictionary.com
This site will scare you…and I apologize for sending you to it.
from urbandictionary.com:
jizz is an organic fluid known as semen that usually contains spermatozoa. It is secreted by the gonads (sexual glands) and other sexual organs of male or hermaphroditic animals, including slugs, for fertilization of female ova. The process of discharge is called ejaculation.
ex:
She got jizz all over her : She has semen all over her.
Hahaha, gonads!
@JodieO……..OMG……………….WAY TOO MUCH INFO….I HAVE DECIDED TO CONTINUE TO LIVE IN MY WORLD OF THE BLISSFULLY IGNORANT!!! LMAO
So glad I had not yet checked out urbandictionary.com!!
You should also know she picked out the most ‘decent’ description…
@JodieO
“You should also know she picked out the most ‘decent’ description”
FOR THAT I MOST SINCERELY THANK YOU!!
I aim to be informative.
Thanks UC…..did you see what you started???? XO
Yeah, can “totes” be thrown out along with it? Please? Need to keep “douche”, though. It’s just too good a word and every once in a while, when I have that “not so fresh feeling” I need to bring it out.
since i spend my days in another language there is little danger of picking up a lot of eng. slang—from time to time i have consulted slang dicts & have always been amazed at what else is there—as for the good old fashioned anglo-saxon words i’d hate to see them go out of fashion—from time to time it does my sinful soul good to scream ‘what a prick!’—<3
while we’re cleaning house, can we also throw out “ridonk”?
I don’t really use jizz either (thatswhatshesaid), perhaps Spunk? I don’t have another. Back in the day we used to say ‘I creamed my jeans’ Is that gross? I am no longer 16 and cannot tell, it’s early in the AM, need coffee.
ewwwwwww creamed my jeans! that’s worse!!!!!!!!!!
TOTES worse:)
I love ‘totes’ and will not stop saying it
Still relearning the REAL english language…So was thinking UC how about a post of all Twilight related DFD=Definition for Dummys! Don’t forget the abbrevs…..
Now that is a post I would love to see!! The words cannot be worse than what I “think” they mean…COULD THEY???
Must admit, you have all corrupted and increased my vocab.greatly …not sure in a good way LMAO and Thanks (I think)!
Agreed – especially for those of us that are late arrivers to the site. Most of the time I can sort of figure them out, but sometimes there are ones that I have no idea. It would make for a great post “Twilight DFD”. Also loved the post this morning – it was Jizz-rific (that’s what she said)!
Oh Cyndi, I fear that they are worse in some cases…
I’m an editor by profession, so I’ll try to type more properly for you. Though, I can’t stop saying KStew, because it’s too funny to not say it.
I appreciate it! LOL..Kstew is good…and Robsten…easy to understand even by me!!
“I love ‘totes’ and will not stop saying it”
I swore I would never give anyone a thumbs down. You made me break my oath. Tsk tsk.
creamed my jeans! HAHAAHA sick! and i too will not stop saying TOTES or redonkulous! hjahaha half my vocab offends you all!
Yeah, it’s really bad. sorry for that.
😉
LMAO…funny thing is that sometimes I “pick up” a word from here and then I end up throwing it out in a sentence w/o realizing it…and the hubs…bless his lil heart, is so used to “my own form of language” just goes along with it, like he KNOWS what the hell I am talking about…WAIT…maybe he DOES know and is thinking DAMN…”What the hell is she doing on that computer all day”???
Rob has an affinity at least with “creamed” so that alone makes it ok.
I’ve never heard people use “jizz” so much before… Maybe it’s not so big on the east coast? Who knows.
Look at all the “totes” haters! I started saying that totally randomly like 3 years ago as a joke. I don’t know how everyone else started using it… but to me, “totes hilar” is a funny phrase all on its own. “Totes” is best used when being sarcastic or speaking in hyperbole.
Um… anyway. Sparklepeen, ftw!
I sort of think totes is funny, too. *ducks*
i went through this phase in college where I abbreviated everything- even that word.
I’d talk about all my abrev’s….. some of the words have stuck… like totes
YES. Um, I’m sort of not out of that phase and still abbreviate everything… But totes and hilar are the big ones.
P.S. I also refer to them as “my abbrev’s” and laugh because I just abbreviated the world abbreviate. Nerd alert. Also, how soulmatey!
I’m still in that phase too, I still say ‘What’s the sitch?’ which I started doing in college….so, maybe that is a developmental stage of life in your late teens/early 20’s, “The Abbrev’s Stage”.
(I was a psych minor)
ROTFLMAO!
I’m 24 and I’m still in that stage – everything is totes, obvs and hilar.
My favorite abbreviation is ridic for ridiculous, which I always spell re-dick because it makes me giggle.
pick you up in my pt cruiser later for a spin around jersey/pa
HAHAHA someone gave you a thumbs down for that. Don’t hate on us and our East Coast joy rides in the PT BRUISER, biatches!
I don’t abbreviate…I switch letters around. FuddRuckers becomes RuddFuckers. I call people fun suckers for killing buzz…that became sun fucker and makes me giggle hardcore. And I just said fuck like 42 times. Sorry.
RUDD FUCKERS! LOVES it!
GOOD CALL
oh janet
Forgot to mention that LTT has furrther expanded my universe…I am now Twittering (oh no is that the correct word?) Arghhh…anyway thanks!!!
That is the correct term!
thanx x
I have to make a confession. I said jizz in a tweet maybe 2 nights ago. ::facepalm:: I know. I was running through so many words to use instead of jizz and when all was said and done I just went with jizz. I feel like a fool now. A FOOL I TELL YOU!! lol!! jk
When I first started reading LTT/LTR I picked up the lingo and started saying totes, ridic, presh, delish, srsly, and probably so many more. My poor husband didn’t know what the hell I was saying. I would say “ridic” and he would end it with “ulous” EVERY TIME. I would say “presh” and he would end it with “ous” EVERY TIME.
Now he says our words to make fun of me not realizing he’s been sucked into our Robverse. AND he doesn’t realize he’s a unicorn and vehemently denies it with a chagrin. (see what I did there?)
Luvumeanit!!
M
so obvs i totes saw it
“downstairs bonanza” ROTFLMAO!
That totes made me giggle!
😉 See what I did there?
“downstairs bonanza” ROTFLMAO!
(I posted this but I think it’s lost and if it’s not lost than I apologize for the double post because I’m cool like that)
Im so behind the times! i only just used my first jizzed while posting about Wide Awake in the forum 😦
I dont think it is used as much in the UK. Can you let me know what the new word/phrase will be so i can be in with the cool crowd?
I just figured out what “totes”meant a couple of weeks ago. I am trying to be cooler and work it into my repertoire.
It’s hard to get used to using it. Adverbs need that “ly.” But I’m totes working on it! (dork)
…oh yeah, I always use jizz (the word, not the spooge) when describing something slimy.
“eew, those eggs are are all jizzy and gross.”
Blinded by the light,
revved up like a DOUCHE,
another runner in the night
(That song always makes me laugh)
i only just recently found out it was DEUCE! what a sad day for me.
huh this is a new one on me. didn’t know that the word jizz became so popular. i didn’t even know that there was a song. i use cream my jeans though….
I think “cream my jeans” (or just “cream”) is actually better because it’s unisex.
PS JodieO made me this..
I LOVE HER!
Knowing JodieO ….do I dare look.???…weak heart and have had THE WORST DAY EVER!!! (At least that I can remember) !!!!
You can look, it’s not anything too horrible. =) .. I don’t think, anyway..
Sorry you are having a bad day! Maybe blanket Edward can help?
LMAO that was sooo funny!! I am glad you told me it was safe…after the conversation going on earlier today I wasn’t sure I was going to be up to it! LOL
Ok..so here is how my day went…(just to give you a return laugh)
1.Found out paid TV twice/didn’t pay the phone bill…
2. Set my own hair on fire…long story
3. Cannot find my journal…so have no clue what I did/didn’t do this week…
4. Grabbed my lunch out of the oven w/o mitts EVEN
THO the handle has label saying “oven mitts” (typing with only a couple of fingers now)…
5. Lost two complete hours of the day…totally gone
6. Forgot to put dinner in the oven…pizza night which hubs hates..
And those were the best parts of the day!!!
I can tell you where those “lost” two hours went. Same place mine did.
Floating around in this damned computer like a mouse trying to get out of a maze. Or a certain Hufflepuff lost in the hedges.
RAT (random ass thought) – has anyone else noticed that in the movie in that scene in Biology Class – there is one part where the white wings of that stuffed bird on the counter behind him actually looks like they are his wings? Not sure if the cougar actually was trying to do some creative cinematography or if it was accidental. Just wondering…it’s one of those weird things that I noticed in the movie and wondered if anyone else “tots” did too?
yes saw it the first time thought it was so amazeballs. i think they talked about it being a happy coincidence at first then they kept it that way on purpose on the takes after it
“Billy + Edward = Bedward. Renesmee’s baby would be Bedward Black
It’s normal that I a) thought of this and b) told you. Right???”
This was funnier than the jizz video.
And yes, CH did place the owl in that position deliberately.
actually, according to the commentary (which i’m watching, uh, right now), there was a big debate about whether it should be there or not. Apparently no one wanted it there and said it looked awkward. But the Coug was all, “It looks like angel wings, which is so right for him.” GAG. She’s so awful, and that laugh. Gag again. But all I thought of when I saw the owl was Hedwig. How could one not?
Oh, and thanks everyone for making me see the damn armadillo be there and then not be there. And the Coug’s all, “I put that armadillo there because it’s the state animal of my home state of Texas. I just had to have it in there.” I really thought she was going to say her home state was Arkansas. Alas…
Did anyone notice that someone had “fun” giving everyone a thumbs down….??? Whatz up with that??
Hah! I was just talking about that! And yes, I noticed it. They did it on LTR, too. Someone’s got their panties in a bunch!
Man, it really does sound like you had a rough day! Goodness!
Usually just setting your own hair on fire counts as a bad day, but you were an over acheiver today!
I do my best! I think the thumb downer is on again…some are changing to 2 now….interesting…
Oh my god! I just noticed that.
I feel better now that I know my comments were not as lame as I thought they might be.
Still was a shitty thing to do.
Maybe it’s someone trying to be a “fun celebrity” and failing miserably. Unless he or she replies– “PSYCH!!!! It’s MEEEEE, K-Stew! HaHa Suck it”
I gave you a thumbs down just so I could feel better about myself. And KStew.
Suck it!!! Thumbs down!
; )
(ahhh, I feel better too!)
har….this is the first time i’ve heard of his video. I guess i’m late to the party, pretty funny, but i guess i’d super annoyed if I heard that all the time.
This is one of the good things of not being a native English speaker – you have no idea of the “feel” of cuss words or colloquial English, so I have never used or been irritated by this one before..so bye, bye, there it goes…
Remember that I was grossed out, though by a friend in college (in the US) who was called “Creamy” because she used that word a lot. Especially to describe the girls´ reactions to the handsome teachers. I guess it’s just too – graphic. Like Ranch dressing. Yuk. Let’s stick to safe words like “deplorable”, “delicious” and “delectable”.
Not sure whether to tack onto an existing anti-totes comment, but I’m a member of that club.
However forgive you all for using it as you are (mostly) Americans. And do lots of weird things with language which I don’t understand (a trunk is on an elephant, not a car!!) but I love your faces anyway ^_^v
What you need is to get into other country’s slang – I personally love using British words whenever possible, like strumpet, cad and minger.
I love the word douche. I’ve started using it so much more since reading LTT/LTR too. In fact I’ve described someone as ‘Doucheward’ and gotten weird looks… also ‘Crapsten’. That’s normal…
You are welcome to some free, Australian slang to (lame)spice up your conversations:
Cactus – (something that is) broken, and beyond repair, “KStew’s hair is cactus”
Sack – not just getting fired, but also a bed. “I finally got Rob in the sack!” – doesn’t sound quite so Misery in Australia
Turps – alcohol, also to go out drinking – “Hit the turps with the Brit pack”.
Rapt – to be very excited or please with an event, “I’m so rapt that New Moon looks like it won’t be rubbish”
Enjoy responsibly!
Still more tolerable than guffaw or incredulous…
I vote we get rid of *poof* and keep Jizz, personally.
KStew’s hair is so cactus!
jizz is still aiite…lol…god has it been this long…it just felt like yesterday when i was watching the video…k.stew definately had a dry mouth…jizzin at robwards stare
Thank you Jesus!! R.I.P jizz! =)
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