Тихо се сипе поредният сняг: нова година(нова тема)- нов късмет -TR Тема 52

10 April 2003 /AN INTERVIEW BY NURIYE AKMAN
"The Forty Days in Halvet" (Sufi word for "retirement for devotion or contemplation") is one of the most striking books I have read lately. The subtitle of the book, published by Kaknus Publications five months ago, is "The Diary of a Psychologist Dervish in Halvet and an Accompanying Scientific Analysis." The author of the book, psychotherapist Michaela Mihriban Ozelsel, was born in Germany in 1949, spent most of her youth in Turkey and converted to Islam at the age of 37. She tells about a 40-day retreat in her extremely modest apartment that she spent in complete isolation, fasting, remembering Allah (zikr) and praying.
It is indeed worth witnessing the inner journey of a woman searching for herself and for God. The book has a historical significance because the experience of halvet is written for the first time in this book by a halveti (a practitioner of halvet). One must ask one's self, during the hundreds of years of the halvet tradition in Sufism, why hasn't any man ever shared his halvet experience with people? In my opinion, committing the halvet experience to paper requires more courage than experiencing it. I consider the penning of this experience by a woman to be as meaningful as Mrs. Mihriban's assignment to the mission of serving as a bridge between East and West by her sheikh (spritual master). Other people's trains in their inner journeys occasionally stop at our inner stations as well. When I came across some discoveries about my own self while reading about Mrs. Mihriban's journey, and I felt the blessings of this book, and I wanted to inform you about it as well.
Since Mrs. Mihriban lives in Germany, we were not able to meet for the interview. I asked my questions in writing and received written answers. I would like to thank go-between and translator Seda Ciftci.

I Have Broken My Intellectual Shell by Halvet

Zaman: Does keeping a diary not conflict with the logic of being in halvet?

Ozelsel: Yes, initially it seemed very strange to me that I had been asked to keep a diary. But I am used to doing whatever the sheikh tells me without questioning his decisions. (Often I understand afterwards why whatever he had asked me to do makes sense.) As far as publishing was concerned, he has not limited me in any way. His only instruction was: "You are like a 'bridge' between cultures. Give our ancient knowledge to the West." Whatever way I did this was left up to me. It is not his way to direct others; he usually only gives comments when directly asked for them.

Zaman: How can a person attempt to go into halvet, as there is such a high risk of losing one's mind and dying?

Ozelsel: The risk is considered to be high from a medical perspective, not from the perspective of sufism (tasavvuf). I personally believe in protecting my mind and my body from unnecessary dangers (such as taking drugs, risky car driving etc.) but not from hardship suffered doing spiritual practices. Our life is in Allah's hands all of the time, our date of death decided upon by Him alone. We can die any moment anyway, only normally we are unfortunately not very conscious of this. Being aware of this fact at all times would be very good as death defines life. We would probably lead better, more meaningful, lives if we could always remember that death can find us anytime. Islam, fortunately, has several rituals that remind us of our mortality: when entering a halvet or going on the hajj, one is supposed to do this "as if going to the grave," leaving no unfinished business behind. In the West, by the way, it is not only the conditions of a halvet that are considered to be dangerous. Even relatively "mild" practices such as fasting during ramazan are considered to endanger one's health. And during the most sacred ritual, the hajj, I was twice in great danger of dying: I received a severe blow on the head while stoning the "Great Shaitan" and was squeezed and almost trampled to death during tavvaf. And although the hajj can truly be dangerous, no Muslim would think of cautioning someone not to undertake the pilgrimage out of fear… Dying is not bad and should not be feared; we are returning to Allah, whenever He chooses. How can this be bad? What should be feared instead is leading a selfish, self-centered, meaningless life in ignorance of God. Being Muslim, I trust this ancient, time-proven method for getting closer to Allah and am willing to pay the price, health-wise and otherwise. Those of us on the path of a tariqat also trust that the sheikh is divinely inspired and will grant permission only if he perceives that a mürid is ready for this, mentally, physically and spiritually.

Zaman: Do you not ever question the assumption that "the sheikh knows what is right and what is wrong for the mürid [the follower, disciple, novice in Sufi terminology]"? What if the sheikh himself is sick?

Ozelsel: No, I have never had any doubts that my sheikh's knowledge -- as far as guiding me on the spiritual path -- is correct. This is not because he is "all-knowing." He is a human being, prone to mistakes, as anyone else. But, as Al Ghazali says: "Let him know that the benefit he receives from the error of his teacher -- if the teacher should commit an error -- is greater than the benefit he receives from being right himself -- should he be right." Hz. Mevlana points out in his Fihi ma Fih that even "an idiot of a sheikh can be beneficial if only the mürid approaches him with the appropriate attitude." Idris Shah, finally, says that every student ends up with the teacher he deserves…

Sometimes the mürid is not given permission

Zaman: How can a sheikh bear the responsibility of giving permission to send a mürid into halvet? If the patient dies or gets worse, will the sheikh be responsible for the outcome? This can be regarded normal for life in a tarikat [also tariqat: Sufi brotherhood or dervish order meaning a group traveling the same path to God]; however, are not the scientific and legal issues of the matter left unaddressed?

Ozelsel: As far as I know, our sheikh has never told anybody to do a halvet. The mürid requests permission, and this is occasionally granted -- not always. The issue of responsibility is interesting, indeed. If one is a Muslim, one will believe the Quran to be true. Here it says: "Say: Nothing can hit us but whatever Allah has ordained" (9/51). Looking at the issue from this point of view, it is not the sheikh as a person who is responsible. He is the one through whom Allah's will becomes apparent to the mürid. He is the one who guides the mürid on the time-proven path that he has traveled himself before. If you want to cross a perilous desert or climb a mountain, it is wise to take a professional guide. Even the most experienced guide can fail, yet chances are you'll travel more safely than you would trusting only your own knowledge. From a legal point of view I don't see this as an issue at all. After all, the mürid is undertaking the halvet based on his/her own free will. No one forces him or her; one is not locked up, (that is, one has a key) and can exit any time one likes. I had also been asked to write a note declaring that I had entered of my own free will. So what could be the grounds to hold the murshid.

Zaman: Is the road to halvet closed to a Muslim who does not subscribe to the sheikh-mürid connection?

Ozelsel: The external conditions of a halvet are open to anyone. That is, anyone who wants to can lock himself up in solitude, do prayers, fasting, zikrs, etc. But the traditional definition of a halvet is that this can only be done with the permission of a sheikh, as this will connect the mürid to the silsile (a spiritual chain of tariqat masters) that goes back to the Prophet (s.a.). There have always been people who are guided by Allah directly and thus don't need a sheikh. An example is Veysel Karani. But for the vast majority this is not the case; most of us are not "Veysel Karanis." I personally have not even been able to accomplish something as relatively easy as learning how to read and to write without a teacher. How then could I imagine traveling on the spiritual path without guidance? All knowledge comes from Allah only, but Ibn Arabi already pointed out to us that on this level Allah never manifests himself without "matter." So the blessings received in a halvet are from Allah only, not from the sheikh; yet, our means to connect to these blessings is by having received the permission (destur) of a sheikh who has been authorized to do this. So, if you believe in this, a halvet without a mürshid (sheikh)-mürid relationship is not possible, although the external circumstances can certainly be replicated without a sheikh. Had Allah so wanted, He could have revealed the Quran to us without the Prophet (s.a.) But this is not how it happened. The Prophet (s.a.) says, "I was sent as a teacher." So the idea of a teacher lies at the very heart of Islam. To me, this means that if I am a Muslim, I believe in the necessity of having a teacher as Allah Himself has presented His word to us through a teacher. To think that I could learn the highest knowledge (spiritual knowledge) without a teacher would mean the height of deceit and preposterousness, i.e. "nefs pure"!!

Zaman: Why do the conditions of halvet necessarily have to be so savage? Or were your conditions a little different?

Ozelsel: I believe that everyone receives the conditions he needs. I feel I am a "tough case," i.e., my "intellectual shell" is very tough… So I guess I needed "savage" methods, as you worded it! Generally seen, progress on the Path requires great effort. Why otherwise would our Prophet (s.a.) have called the "education of the nefs" the "great cihad" (to rid it from debased actions or inclinations, and exercise constancy and perseverance in achieving a higher moral standard)? And Hz. Mevlana points out, "Whenever you see someone who has arrived at a high station, you know that much effort has gone into this"? A halvet that is no effort would probably not challenge us enough to grow beyond our present self. Otherwise, why would the Mevlevis (The followers of Mevlana) greet each other saying, "May Allah increase your hardship!"? The more you have to struggle, the more you'll grow within -- provided you struggle with the right attitude. There are a few "wrong attitudes," that is, attitudes that prevent growth even in the presence of difficulties. These are: self pity, such as "Why me?"; blaming others, such as "If he/she hadn't been so terrible, this would have never happened to me"; and a type of cynicism, (which we tell ourselves is realism) such as, "I never wanted this or that anyway," thus negating/putting down whatever had meant so much to us. All these mechanisms reduce pain, for sure, but at the same time they also prevent the growth within ourselves that could have been possible by dealing in appropriate ways with the conditions of life Allah has chosen to give to us. So what does "appropriate" mean in this context? Islam tells us! Islam means "submission". And how can we practice this without accepting whatever conditions of life Allah has chosen for us? Accepting not in a fatalistic way as an end in itself, but, on the contrary, as a challenge to live our lives in the way the Quran, "Al Furkan," and Allah's messenger with his Sunni have shown us? So if the conditions of my halvet should have been more "savage" than normal, this is exactly whatever I deserved, which I needed in order to grow. Therefore I am grateful for whatever difficulty arose, as in "May Allah increase your hardship."

Zaman: In this experience, "One pain drives out another pain" is reminiscent of the proverb, "One nail drives out another" [a Turkish proverb that means to get rid of something extreme or so bad, one should retaliate with something equally bad or more extreme or worse]. Cannot the hardships and pains we experience in our daily lives be transformed into beautifying, improving and maturing experiences without going into halvet, that is, without isolating ourselves by hunger, darkness and seclusion? Is it not possible to enlarge our circle of awareness to as large as it is in halvet, but without going into halvet itself?

Ozelsel: If we endure whatever "hits" us, looking at it from an Islamic perspective, we can certainly benefit and turn our losses into gains. With an "Islamic perspective" I mean to see everything as coming from Allah, of having trust, hope, patience and steadfastness. To really live these Islamic core virtues at all times is very hard. But we get enough occasions to practice! Life will always present us new problems and hardships! When things are really difficult in my life, I keep remembering an advice which -- I believe -- comes to us via Hz. Ali: "Whenever your nefs wants to complain, show gratitude instead," and: "If the day is for me, I show gratitude; if the day is against me, I practice patience." Looking at life in this way, whatever hits, us can be seen as a chance to educate our nefs, to actually live cihat and thus to develop and mature. But the conditions of a halvet intensify this process tremendously. It is like a shortcut! Practices such as fasting, confinement, sensory deprivation, breath work and reciting mantras (as in zikr), praying, sleep deprivation, sexual abstinence etc. are used by traditional societies worldwide in order to get closer to God, they are not just Islamic. If these practices were not highly effective, they would not have been discovered by peoples all around the world and would not have stayed in use since the dawning of mankind until today. It is only now, though, that science has progressed enough in order to investigate the physiological and psychological effects these have on the people who practice them. This is highly exciting research that I find very interesting. As a Muslim, I do not need a scientific explanation in order to be convinced to follow Islamic tradition. (Science can never "explain" God!)

Intelligence is Not an Applicable Tool

But the Quran tells us time and time again to use our brains and that "the signs are in nature," i.e. to do scientific research. And the part of me that is a Western-trained scientist enjoys this very much! Intellectual pursuits are a great source of happiness to me. Yet, a halvet is the very best chance I know to also learn this: the Intellect, as wonderful as it is, is limited and not a suitable device to approach God. The conditions of a traditional halvet, hard as they may be, are the most effective way to awaken the only faculty capable of approaching Allah: "polishing the mirror of the heart."

Zaman: What have you explored regarding zikr, not as a believer but as a professional woman? What happens during the zikr that it makes one heal or feel better?

Ozelsel: Looking at it from a professional point of view, doing zikrs is a way to strongly affect the brain processes. Head movements, breath and concentration (on mantras) are medically recognized means to affect the chemistry of the brain. As Allah does not manifest on this earthly level free from matter (see above, Ibn Arabi) these medically accepted facts are not causal, just descriptive. I personally found zikr to be the most direct way to break free from my intellectual perspective. It helped me to go beyond this. The intellect can never reach Allah, the pure heart can. So this is, as the tradition tells us, a way to "polish the rusty heart," so it can, inshallah, become a mirror for Allah's Truth to be manifested. But this is again spiritual thinking. From a scientific viewpoint I can only point out that contemporary brain research shows that not only zikr but also all of the conditions of halvet, such as sensory deprivation, fasting etc. lead to changes in the brain's chemistry and as such to changes in the human being.

Zaman: As a psychologist, do you suggest to a person who wants to reconstruct himself to first let go of his old structure [self] completely?

Ozelsel: Would be great if that were possible! But our "old self" stubbornly clings to us! This is our immature nefs, and to get rid of this is the "great cihad." We cannot simply "step out of this." This is not a matter of suppressing or eliminating our previous way of being. It is, instead, a constant effort (great effort!) of educating our nefs. Hz. Mevlana tells us, "Before you write on a black board, you will wipe it clean," and that Allah "writes His secrets into a heart that has been washed with blood and tears." This "discharge" is the goal of all of the ancient practices of tasavvuf. These are time-proven methods to "polish the mirror of the heart," which is, according to Islam, the only space that can "contain" Allah: a polished heart. So even while dealing as a "psychologist," I am still a Muslim and thus wish for my patients -- as well as for myself -- the most thorough "discharge" possible so Allah may find a suitable space to "write His secrets into." The more "hollow" we are, the clearer, less distorted, can Allah's will flow through us. Sufism uses the metaphor of the flute, the ney. The bamboo has to be cleaned of the inner walls, i.e., hollowed out, and has to go through the fire (in order to straighten the bamboo) in order to become available for the Divine sound to flow through it without distortion. The "emptier" it gets, the purer the manifestation of Allah on this material level will be. "Empty of self, filled with hu"… This is the goal of our existence, may Allah grant this.

Zaman: I learned that you had gone into halvet twice for 40 days, once for three days, and once for seven days. This book, I assume, tells about the first one. In your first halvet experience, you perceived "wholeness" as "God is love and compassion." Your second one did not confirm this perception. Will you remain silent by saying that whatever happened cannot be expressed by words, or will you at least tell why God is not "love and compassion"? Or, due to the fact that you first experienced the Cemal [The Beauty of God] and then the Celal [The glory/majesty/wrath of God], do you think that one must not scare people by putting the Celal into words?

Ozelsel: No, I'm not worried about frightening people. But understanding that Allah is NOT "Love and Mercy" was actually the most direct confirmation of Islam's truth I have ever received. This IS the meaning of Ihlas suresi, i.e., "Allah can not be compared to anything"! If He were Love or Mercy, this would mean a comparison. This would mean an Allah we, as His creation, could understand, "figure out," manipulate etc. And this is not the way it is! So I will remain quiet, not because this is my preference but because anything I could say about it would be wrong. The only Truth in this respect is to remain silent. This is also what all of the enlightened masters are saying, i.e. the impossibility of wording Divine secrets. Think of Hallac al Mansur… I certainly don't want to compare myself to the enlightened ones, yet the tiny taste of their secrets, which was granted to me during my second 40-day halvet shows me how right they are. And this had even been my prayer upon entering: to understand the actual meaning of "la illahe ilallah." Yes, there is nothing, can be nothing, LIKE Allah. So how can we talk about it? Compare Him to anything?

Zaman: How would halvet be practiced in prisons for prisoners or in other places? Have you done a study for that purpose?

Ozelsel: I did a small pilot project a few years ago with regular German patients who are non-Muslim. The guidance was again through my sheikh, but taking place in Austria. Halvets of three or seven days, in one case two halvets of seven days each, right after another. The results are very encouraging. But I don't think that this will be integrated into regular healthcare here in Germany, as the methods are from a medical point of view considered to be dangerous. The same situation applies to prisons, which is sad, as this would be a wonderful chance for some inmates to make a return to a spiritual way of life while serving their sentences. They are in isolation anyway.

Zaman: What kind of contributions has halvet made to your art of daily living?

Ozelsel: I can handle situations of stress with greater ease, more hope, less worries. I am more focused on helping others, have a deeper understanding for the needs and weaknesses of others. I have no more suicidal thoughts; feel that with Allah's help I will be able to endure whatever difficulties life still has in store for me. These changes in my personality naturally affect every aspect of my day-to-day life, my dealings with family and friends as well as my patients and colleagues. I know that if things should really badly go wrong in my life again, there is always the possibility of another halvet waiting for me. A time to focus on Allah alone, nothing but Allah and thus a possibility to receive new strength to deal with whatever needs to be dealt with. There is one problem with my attitude towards death when dealing with people who have not undergone the halvet experience and/or have no spiritual perspective: My attitude, when voiced, might offend some. When three years ago my beloved sister-in-law died at a rather young age, I actually shocked and offended some by voicing that as she had returned to Allah, I did not feel sorry for her. I felt terrible grief, just as anyone else who loved her, yet I felt that our grief was selfish. We all were so awfully sad because we'd miss her presence among us so terribly, thus we were basically feeling self pity and not fully accepting Allah's will in calling her back to Himself at a time which -- from our human perspective -- seemed premature. I had to learn to keep silent about this as I saw that my position on this topic truly offended the others. And that was certainly nothing I had in mind at a time as hard as losing her was for all of us.

Zaman: While in halvet you wished "not to wish anything" and "not willing anything" At that moment, you thought your wish was granted, yet now can you say that you do not need anything or anybody?

Ozelsel: Not at all! Unfortunately... Yet the memory of having lived this as actual Truth, be it only for moments, is strong enough to keep me striving, praying, for this goal. Wanting nothing anymore for oneself is absolute freedom. Hz. Mevlana explains in his Fihi ma Fih that this goal on this material earth-level cannot be attained but for a very few enlightened beings, not for us regular mortals. He says that one can stop giving in to wishes and needs, using discipline, but cannot stop feeling these wishes and needs -- unless one is enlightened. So, although this is not a lived reality for me, the "taste" I have been permitted of this during my halvet is like a guiding light that will be with me for the rest of my life.

Zaman: Do the feelings that you have experienced during halvet as similar to sexual gratification enhance your normal sexual life after the halvet?

Ozelsel: Interesting question! From the viewpoint of my physiological sexual experience, no. There is no difference. But from a mental/psychological/spiritual point of view there are some changes. The sacredness of the man-woman union is much more present for me. The Quranic verses "God has placed tenderness between man and woman so they find comfort in each other…" and "They are a gown to you…" (30/22; 2/183) are much more of a living reality to me after experiencing the "erotic-like" feelings in the (certainly!) non-erotic context of a halvet. Yet, this topic is hard to talk about in an Islamic culture.

Zaman: Sometimes, in Sufism books, religious feelings are depicted by using sexual motifs. However, since Sufis are generally men, the depictions are masculine, and the loved ones are women. I wonder, what kind of feminine expressions would you, as a woman, use to describe becoming one (or whole) with God who is the Loved One?

Ozelsel: This is a very interesting point! I'm afraid, though, my answers will not be very useful, as whenever in my life I have felt closest to Allah, "I" wasn't even present any longer. Those were these hard-to-describe moments of having melted into infinity, where nothing is left but BEING Itself. No images of any nature. Also, while experiencing the "erotic-type" feelings during halvet, there was neither erotic imagery nor erotic thought involved. I know that this might be hard to imagine, but that is the way it was. These states have nothing to do whatsoever with erotic fantasizing.

As far as Muhammad (s.a.) is concerned, I initially still perceived him in my visions as a man, though I could never see a face. Also then, I perceived myself as a young child, held by him, not as a sexually mature woman. There was no erotic implication whatsoever. Then, when my deepest "Muhammad experiences" happened, he was not a man any longer but once like a tremendous bank of fog, and right after the halvet just pure presence, no material form whatsoever.

So I'm probably the wrong person to ask which metaphors would be an appropriate equivalents for a woman. I know about Christian nuns, (who are not permitted to get married), that they are asked to visualize God/Jesus as a man, as their lover, as their fiancé. They are therefore also referred to as "brides of Jesus."

(You must be a courageous woman, dear Nuriye. Your questions lead to dangerous grounds!)

Zaman:How is Freud evaluated in your professional world today? In your opinion, who is the brightest scientist of this era? What is the fundamental issue in debate?

Ozelsel: In the United States Freud is mostly recognized as a great pioneer who was very important in order to introduce concepts of the unconscious, specifically and psychology, generally. Yet, his teachings are not valued as being of much practical use today. Approaches arising of cognitive behaviorism are considered to be much more effective while treating patients. In South America, especially in Argentina, this is not the case. Freudianism is still going strong there! In Germany this is a mixed situation, also confounded with legislation. Until just recently, only medical doctors were permitted to work within the public health system here, and if they were trained as psychologists, their training had been Freudian. So they still dominate the public situation to a greater extent than is actually feasible. Comparative scientific studies of various approaches done here always show again that therapies based on Freudian teaching do not give as good results as approaches based on behaviorism and are much more costly and time consuming on top of this. Yet, this situation is only expected to change once the chair-professors of today at German universities have gone into retirement and a new, result-oriented generation of professors has taken their places. Until then, the "dinosaurs" of Freudians continue living among us! Most of the colleagues I am dealing with criticize Freud because of his negative/pessimistic view of human nature, his pathologizing of religion as an "addiction" ("Opium fürs Volk"), and his non-scientific stance. The scientific method today requires that hypotheses are formulated that can be falsified. This is not the case with Freudian "theories." (In a scientific sense, these are not theories, as a falsification is not possible.) It is more a belief system than a science, yet it comes along in the guise of a science. I don't know if he is "the brightest" but probably the most influential scientist in my field today is Ken Wilber. He has introduced some of the wisdom of Far Eastern religions and mysticism in general to Western psychology. My personal favorite is Ken Ring, known for outstanding scientific research in the field of near-death experiences. I have quoted him frequently in my book.